A year Ago today..

31 May 2011

A year ago today I was 26 weeks pregnant.

A year ago today I noticed the tiniest bit of spotting and after talking to a nurse at the hospital decided to stop by just to have them confirm I was over-reacting and had nothing to worry about.

My husband decided at the last minutes to drive with me instead of taking separate cars so that he could leave for work after the hospital checkup. We were laughing joking even as we waited for a doctor to come and give me the a-ok. A wonderful Dr. showed up and after asking a bunch of questions did an internal exam. I was 3 cm dilated.

Suddenly our world seemed painfully small. It shrank in that moment to encompass my husband, myself, our unborn baby and a sickening feeling of utter despair. We were rushed off for an Ultrasound only to discover that our little one was already kicking her way out - the membranes were protruding through the cervix and her feet were right there... We were told that another hospital could better treat a baby born this early and the hospital scrambled to find us a bed there. My husband left me for a few minutes to make what must have been incredibly difficult phone calls to my mom and to his. We didn't really know what was happening... all we knew was that were were terribly afraid of what could happen.

I received the first of two very painful steroid shots to help our little Diva's lungs mature and I was in an ambulance heading to a hospital with a level 3 NICU which could better look after our little one if she arrived that day.

Thankfully we were able to keep her inside for another 2 and a half weeks. She was born at 28 weeks and 4 days. I am more grateful to the doctors, nurses, ambulance drivers and family members who looked after us in the days following out admittance to hospital than I could EVER even try to express. We would not be where we are today without them. We were and are truly blessed by the miracles that occurred in those first scary days in the hospital, those that followed in the less scary days and into the present day. I try to focus on the good every day and not to get bogged down by the totally nonsensical things we all tend to complain about. I'm better at it some days than other.

Anywho it is getting late in my corner of the world and after spending the day feeling like I could bawl at any second when I thought about how blessed we are - I think I need to wind down and get some sleep. I am happy and I try to live my life in such a way that others can see that too!

I love my little family and can't imagine where I'd be without them.
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